Bike Week, and serious motorcyclists

I hate to say it but it's been a relatively sedate last few weeks on the ol' Pirate's homefront. Most of my spare time has been devoted to working on the motorhome in anticipation of future travels, and writing a bit here and there.

Bike Week, that sacred event here in Florida, kinda came and went. The weather for much of the event was rainy or windy, and sometimes rainy AND windy, so many of us just stayed home. Yours Truly did take some time off from The Day Job to attend Bike Week but I got about as far as St. Augustine before I ran into some friends and we wound up hangin' at the pubs in that area.

I guess that after a decade of Bike Weeks and Biketoberfests the loud-pipes-saving-lives thing has lost some of it's sparkle. Along with some of my hearing, but that's another point.

BMW was supposed to put on a party, and in the past their Bike Week events were great, but the BMW gig conflicted with the annual Iron Butt Association dinner. And the IBA dinner is a "must do" if you can get in.

You have to admire the IBA crowd. People ride into Jacksonville just for the dinner, to meet and greet, and then head back out to the far corners of the nation. In early March. When it's snowing everywhere else.

Some friends of mine met the week before in Jacksonville for bar-b-que, and then proceeded to ride westward. To the coast. And then to turn around and return. To Jacksonville. All in 100 hours.

When I called Tom Coppedge to check on him and to make sure that he had returned safely from the west coast (the winds that day here in JAX Beach were some of the strongest that I have seen in 5-6 years of commuting by motorcycle) Tom calmly told me that not only was he safe in Jacksonville but they he and a few others had arrived early from the trip back from the West Coast so they had actually been out riding that night to Tallahassee in order to claim that they had ridden 5,000 miles in 5 days.

My back hurts just thinking about it.

At the IBA dinner my other long distance riding pal from the Florida Keys, Tom Sayer, was recognized for his ride from Prudhoe Bay, Alaska to the very end of South America. And return to Prudhoe Bay.

Now, just for the record I can state for a fact that Tom didn't just ride straight from Prudhoe Bay to South America. At some point he rode back to his home in the Keys, and then he and I rode a hard several days to get back to Mexico. That's some mileage on two wheels.

















Tom's ride was actually a few years ago, incidentally. The IBA is a little slow in authenticating those certificates. Especially for a ride like Tom's.

All in all, good clean fun for a bunch of us old dudes that are either retired or nearing retirement. There is no posing with this crowd, they are all riders, pure and simple.

Another thing about the Iron Butt Association functions is that it does tend to draw and interesting crowd. The people who write quite a bit about and for the motorcycle industry, and the folks who dedicate their lives to serious motorcycle touring all seem to show up.

Besides, where else can you spot a motorcycle with diplomatic plates, right?


















Or someone hauling their dirt bike behind their Gold Wing?
















We've got some seriously adventurous riders in the IBA, I'll tell ya.

Another gig that Ms. Deborah and ol' John attended was a meeting of the Ton Up Club. The Ton Up crew is a national organization that's devoted to ... well ... exactly what I am not sure. Ton Up refers to riding 100 mph on a vintage motorcycle. Preferably a vintage British motorcycle. Presumably with good brakes. They always throw a Bike Week bash at one of my favorite Brit bars in St. Augustine and hire a rockabilly band or two so the world becomes a perfect place, at least for a few hours. And as an aside, I was pleasantly surprised to not only run into a number of friends from our old vintage club and the ADVRiders but the Brit Pub also had a well worn copy of my book on top of the video machine for all to read. Sweet!

So Bike Week means many things to many people. It's a tremendous motorcycle gathering spread out over many, many square miles. And there is something for all.

It's just that I think that I am done with the crowds, bad food and warm Budweiser of Main Street.

At least until I miss that again.

Which may well be as soon as next Biketoberfest.

Y'all have fun!

Sometimes it's just better to be lucky than good.

The bar is the Tir na Nog in Daytona Beach. Read a bit down for the tale. Can we say "free beer?"

Or as those signs in Mexico supposedly often say, "Free beer tomorrow." Those signs stay up for years and no one has ever seen that free beer.

~~~

In a previous post I wrote that our motorhome's LP gas heat wasn't working. Not a major deal here in Florida since we could run the electric heat when staying at an RV park, but that an alternative source of heat would be nice and was an improvement project that I was looking into.
On Saturday Deb was cleaning the bedroom and commented to me that she had accidentally turned something on. Something was making noise and the bedroom was getting hot.

Zounds! The rearmost gas heater was running, and running full bore!

Now, you have to understand that the ol' Wanderlodge has switches, valves, and thermostats scattered in every nook and cranny that you can imagine. And that the owner's manual is more of a suggestion than a Bible - our Bluebird was one of the first rear-engined buses built, and the manual is typewritten (for you youngsters a typewriter was something that came along sometime after stone tablets and just before the word processor). In addition, the previous owners had the bedroom remodeled by a dealer and it doesn't quite conform to what the factory had in mind.

Through sheer good luck we now have all of the safety switches and valves set properly, and have figured out which thermostats operate which gas heaters, and as I write this all three LP gas heaters are capable of doing their thing.

Hallelujah!

Just in time for Spring in Florida and the beginning of our 9 month hot season, right?

~~~

Speaking of Deb and gambling (my life seems to be a gamble every time that I wake up, but I digress) she was able to relieve the Hollywood Casino in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi of enough green the last time that we were there that it paid our diesel fuel bill for the trip (500 miles each way and 5 miles per gallon, so you do the math).

Consequently, the casino keeps inviting us to return, presumably because they want a shot at getting their money back.

They offered to comp us a room for a couple of nights. So Deb held out for a room plus a pull-through space for the bus and trailer for a couple of days.

This weekend they sent her an email and agreed.

So we are thinking about taking a weeklong trip to Mississippi and New Orleans for sometime mid March or late in March.

That will coincide with the completion of Jimmy Buffett's latest Margaritaville at Panama City.

And any time we get into that area we have to hit some of our other favorites places. Jimmy's sister's place, Lulu's, and one of our favorite dive bars, Drifters over in Mobile.

On a historical note, I am also curious to see if we can find where the remains of Jimmy's grandfather's commercial sailing schooner have been recently found. It should be basically down the road from Drifter's.

So if anyone is in the area and wants to get together for a few drinks and some laughs in the tip of the Florida Panhandle, LA (Lower Alabama), Biloxi (gotta stop in and see the construction of Jimmy's new casino and Margaritaville), Bay St. Louis or New Orleans sometime in March then let me know.

~~~

Speaking of getting together for drinks, last week some of us were shooting the breeze at Buffettworld (http://www.buffettworld.com/) and the political conversation got a bit heated. Well, I told one of the guys that if he was around I'd buy him a beer. Turned out that he was going to be in Daytona Beach but, alas, I couldn't get there on his schedule.

The solution? I told him to print out the thread and head over to the Tir na Nog Irish Pub (http://www.tirnanogpub.com/) and to put one or two on PirateJohn's tab.

They did. And they got their beer.

Scary.

But seriously, if you are in Daytona and want to get away from the crowds and Budweiser of Bike Week or the NASCAR events for a laid back Irish pub with good beer that gets REALLY fun and funky after about 10PM, then drop by the Tir na Nog. It over on Speedway, near the beach, and only a few blocks (but a universe away culturally) from Main Street.

Just be aware that they usually don't open until 5PM.

At any rate, my level of generiosity has been reached, at least for the moment. So don't 40 of y'all run down to the Tir na Nog and try to put a beer or two on my account.

Unless you at least tip the bartender well. ;)




~~~

I was researching some 70's and 80's funk bands and ran across something that both fascinated and horrified me. Remember a band called the Gap Band? They did some great tunes like "You Dropped A Bomb on Me," and "Party Train" that were hits in the early 80's.

The band is doing fine as far as I know. But the story behind their name amazed me. Guess that I don't get out much because I had never heard the tale.

The band was originally called the Greenwood, Archer, and Pine Street Band until that name was shorted to Gap.

Greenwood, Archer, and Pine Streets were, in the early 1900's, called the Black Wall Street. It was a thriving business district in oil-rich Tulsa, Oklahoma until a riot in 1921 left the area a smouldering ruin.

Officially 39 deaths occurred, of which 10 were white folks. Unoffically the community contends that more like 300 black folks lost their lives and were secretly buried in mass graves, which would make this the worst race riot in US history.

I had never heard of this episode and am frankly amazed that it's not more widely taught in our schools.

For more details I would invite the reader to check out the Wiki article at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsa_Race_Riot

This may have occurred roughly 90 years ago but if I were a black member of the Tulsa community (which the members of the Gap Band were) I sure as hell wouldn't want anyone to forget this one either.

A very sad chapter in the history of this nation.

~~~

As I was writing this post I got word that another one of my favorite barkeeps had passed on. Cactus Jack, the unofficial Mayor of Salt Springs, Florida has left the room.

Jack was a nice guy, and quite willing to pose for some photos when I wrote my book on Northeastern Florida a few years back. He was like many of us; he had done the corporate gig for many years and decided to retire. The wonderfully restored old Ford in the photo was his, incidentally, and Jack and his Ford fit in well on the outskirts of Salt Springs, which is a sleepy little rural crossroads on the edge of the Ocala National Forest.

And as they like to point out in these parts, Jack was always good to bikers and other wanderers who happened to stumble in.

Sail on Jack!

Man, time flies when you are having fun!

When I started this blog I promised myself that I would try to post something every week. Last weekend I started to write that at least two weeks had past since my last post. Now ... shoot ... at least three weeks have gone by.

Isn't life just like that? One week it seems like you are in high school. And the next week you are looking at walking canes and thinking ... y'know ... those don't look bad at all.

OK, so that's a slight exaggeration but you know why I mean.

I am not a super fan of the new country and western music, but I am often reminded of the sage lyrics of a Van Zant (brothers Johnny and Donnie Van Zant, with family ties right here in Jacksonville) tune that goes:

"And if you wanna hear God laugh, tell Him your plans."

Very sage words.

Surely their older brother Ronnie and his friends Cassie and Steve Gaines never expected their careers to come to a halt that fateful day when Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane came crashing to the ground in the woods of Mississippi.

So one needs to roll with the punches. Because as long as we are above ground, today is destined to be a good day, even if today doesn't quite live up to the expectations of previous or future days.

Or something like that.

~~~

I haven't written for several weeks for a variety of reasons.

For one, Deb and I both came down with The Crud. The Crud is some sort of bronchitis has been going around and it lingered with us for about 3 weeks. It hit my office pretty hard and is starting to make the second round. I jokingly call it Lovingood disease after a pal of mine who had it at our company Christmas party and, sure enough, I had it a few days later. Coughing, phlem, loss of voice, lack of energy, and a generally crappy attitude are all part of the symptoms.

When you have The Crud you don't feel like writing. And everything that you write comes out sounding like "poor me ... I ain't got no energy" and no one wants to hear that.

Secondly, I got a promotion at The Day Job. Now, I realize that for many of you who know me either through my writings or in The Real World it's hard to imagine that I would get promoted, much less hold down A Real Job (tm). But it's true. Moving upward and onward to better things.

We hope.

Or at least I am busier right at the moment and haven't had the opportunities to write lately, let's put things that-a-way.

But fear not. I'm optimistic that I'm going to allocate time to write a bit. It's all a matter of will power, right?

~~~

The promotion came at a funny time because Deb and I had been openly telling our friends that we were going to fire up the RV and move on down the road, most likely right after January 1st. Deb is a realtor and the Florida real estate market, for those of you who haven't heard, has ground to a complete halt by all accounts. And we had a strong sense that after 6 years with my employer that it was time to move on to more exciting pastures anyway.

So we had told most of our friends that we were moving to Tampa.

But I wanted to take some classes and they weren't offered in Tampa, and that put a crimp on things.

Then we decided that, realistically, we had at least 1, if not 2, years worth of work and upgrades to do on our motorhome, motorcycles, and other vehicles before we could do what we REALLY want to do, which is to move further westward and explore a bit.

So consequently when my employer started ramping up to develop a separate mechanical contracting company, and I was offered a promotion here in Jacksonville, it was like ... well ... deja vu all over again, as Yogi Berra was so classically quoted as saying once.

That, and lately Ms. Deborah's real estate business has come roaring back pretty dramatically. She has found a niche in negotiating mortgages down with the mortgage companies and getting otherwise unsellable properties sold in this really lousy market. The past year was tough on us financially (the biggest casualty was that we couldn't take a planned motorhome trip into Mexico this December) but lately things have been pretty good, as evidenced by the gently used 7-series BMW sedan that she's been driving lately. It's been sitting here for the last week and now has permanent license plates on it, so I guess that she intends to keep it.

"And if you wanna hear God laugh, tell Him your plans."

~~~

Along those lines, we moved the motorhome to our workshop. We have been leasing a nice garage-type building in an industrial part of town for the last year or so. Our landlord was kind enough to have cement poured and to make some improvements for us, including a dedicated 50 amp power circuit for the RV. When his primary tenant, a mortgage broker, moved out (and those naysayers think that the real estate market can't be THAT bad down here) we offered to move in temporarily, at least until he gets a new tenant that needs the space.

We have really been enjoying this living because it puts us on top of what must be the only little hill in Jacksonville, in a fenced-in compound, and right next to our tools, vehicles, supplies, and so forth that are in storage. From the street you really can't see that we are there although the RV looms above the fence. There are actually some nice restaurants and shopping nearby along with one of my favorite neighborhood biker bars (you know that you have reached a certain point in life when your local biker bar lets you drink for free and feeds you because you spend so much time with their website, computers, and so forth).

The other "interesting" thing about this part of town is that, well ... how can I say this nicely. "Industrial" is a euphamism for "rough." Oh, there are certainly some little enclaves of fancy living near here (after all, we are near water and you know how waterfront property is) but many of our neighbors aren't exactly part of the country club set. We have met some friendly folks over here but every so often we get entertained by the cops rousting the crackheads and the street walkers.

This is also an area with a large immigrant population and while it's great learning Spanish at the local Mexican and Honduran restaurants seeing this side of Jacksonville must be eye opening for many of those folks.

Welcome to America.

Our workshop:

~~~

One downside to living at the workshop is that we are discovering that our holding tanks are completely full within 6 days, and then we have to run to a nearby RV park and dump them. This is turning out to be something for us to take a hard look at as we contemplate future disaster relief work.

On the other hand at least one of our cats has finally gotten to be brave enough that she doesn't run and hide when we start driving the RV. Coyote has decided that the view is better when she is sitting on the dashboard rather than hiding underneath the couch, like her compatriot usually does.

~~~

We were having lunch at the local Bennigan's last weekend when one of these came by:



It's an Earthroamer. All wheel drive and build on a Ford F550 chassis, this is an RV for some serious off road adventuring.

But better bring your large wallet. Or evidence of your trust fund. 'cause prices start at $200,000 and while that's not too bad as RV's go it's a bit steep considering the somewhat limited space inside one of those things.

Still, they show all the signs of being very well thought out and well constructed. And being the perfect truck for those Alaskan or Baja fishing adventures. As long as the Significant Other doesn't take up as much space as most guy's fishin' gear.

http://www.earthroamer.com/

if you want more info on the Earthroamer.


~~~

Several folks have asked me about the down and out neighbors that lived near our workshop, and who had no heat just as the weather here got cold. I am saddened to report that they seem to have moved out. I made several trips over there looking for them when we were living in an RV park and now that we have been at the workshop for almost 2 weeks their house is vacant and we haven't seen them.

Things are certainly tough when you are poor.

Another house near here caught fire last week and as I was riding to work several members of the family that were living there were standing on the curb, in the cold, as the fire department rolled up their hoses and prepared to pull away. Now that house is boarded up. The local news reported that the family was in the process of buying that house and were two days away from closing on the sale when the fire occurred.

Very sad.

"And if you wanna hear God laugh, tell Him your plans."

The passing of a legendary barkeep

I was saddened to see that John Susor, a/k/a Sloppy John, passed away last week. John's passing wasn't totally unexpected, but I will have to say that when I saw him a few months ago he looked awfully good and my guess would have been that he had a few more years in him.

One never knows about these things.

John was a character, and that's putting it midly. He was getting to be a bit of a regular with the local Indian Rocks, Florida police. On top of that, John had had some sort of falling out with the local Budweiser rep years ago and vowed to never sell Budweiser in his bar again and he kept that promise to his dying day.

Mahuffer's Bar has been a fixture down there south of Clearwater Beach for years. Here's to hoping that John's family can preserve the spirit and legend of the place.

~~~

By SHEILA MULLANES ESTRADA St. Petersburg (FL) Times
January 16, 2008

John Susor was every bit as colorful as the decorations that hung all over the walls at Mahuffer's Bar.

To say that John Susor - with his Hemingway-style white hair, full beard and blunt, often eccentric, ways - was Indian Shores' best-known town "character" is a major understatement.
For years, Mr. Susor owned and operated his Mahuffer's Bar (a.k.a. Sloppy John's), famed for the eclectic memorabilia that covered walls and hung from the ceiling.

Visitors were greeted with customers' signed bras and underwear, parts of sunken boats, fish nets, a myriad of photos and even a 750-pound sand-filled bomb left over from World War II practice runs on local beaches.

Mr. Susor would be the first to say he lived his life to the fullest. He divorced and married nine times. He relished getting into disputes. In the process, he collected devoted friends and customers from all over the world.

He also made implacable enemies, mostly with town officials. He sued the town, and they sued him back. His bar was repeatedly cited for building code and fire safety violations.

He repeatedly ran for town office. He always lost.

When he ran for mayor in 1990, Mr. Susor castigated the local Police Department for what he said was its "gestapo" attitude and called on the police to be "nice to people."

Apparently his message didn't work. He was repeatedly charged with minor and major offenses, building a long and colorful "sheet" with the town Police Department and county court system.

Sometimes Mr. Susor won his legal battles; sometimes he lost.

He settled a copyright dispute with Sloppy Joe's International of Key West when that organization said that Mr. Susor's logo infringed its name and trademark.

He pleaded guilty for having unlicensed cats. He was fined for letting a dog run loose. He was charged with DWI in the 1980s. He was arrested on charges of stealing dirt and hitting a bar customer with a baseball bat.

In one incident in the 1990s, Mr. Susor was charged with battery and resisting arrest when he tossed a wadded piece of paper at a police officer. A jury acquitted him.

In another, he surprised a burglar in the bar at 3 a.m. one day and chased him off, firing three shots. One found its mark, and the burglar was arrested days later when he sought medical treatment.

Mr. Susor's latest legal dustup - aggravated assault charges on allegations that he pointed a gun at a former bartender and an off- duty deputy during a dispute at the bar - remains forever unresolved.

Mr. Susor, 88, died Thursday (Jan. 10, 2008) at Bay Pines VA Medical Center.

After 35 years, Mr. Susor's battle with the police is over. No longer will he reign at the bar he often called "the backside of paradise."

A brief obituary posted on the Internet describes him as an "independent spirit and colorful personality."

Many agreed. Here are just a few messages to Mr. Susor's family posted on the memorial site:
A "legend' has passed," "a life fully lived," "his wacky ways will be missed," and "Anyone who ever met John will not forget him."

But Mahuffer's Bar will go on.

Mike Rogacki, 22, is determined to keep his "grandpa's" beach institution alive.

"I don't think my feet are big enough to fill his shoes, but I learned a lot from him. He told me to keep my head up and shoulders back, to remember that nobody is better than you are," Rogacki said.

Mr. Susor's daughter Lynn plans to help her son, Mike, for a few weeks before returning to Michigan.

"Mike will do fine. And if the town wants to make any trouble, they will find John Susor is still here - we will turn into Dad," she said, laughing.

They also are planning a March 8 memorial service for Mr. Susor.

Actually, they said, it will be more of a party, and, of course, it will be held at Mahuffer's Bar.
"Grandpa would like that," Rogacki said.

http://www.sptimes.com/2008/01/16/Neighborhoodtimes/Fight_ends_for_to...

Sean and Louise and their travels in Odyssey

I want to direct those of you who aspire to a more mobile lifestyle to the blog of Sean Welsh and Louise Horner, who have been full-timing it in their Neoplan Spaceliner bus for the last several years.





You can read all about them at http://ourodyssey.us/



Sean and Louise worked the hurricane relief circuit in New Oleans and wound up doing some flood relief work up on the East Coast soon thereafter. Following that they meandered down into the Copper Canyon region of Mexico where their bus was first loaded onto a railroad car and then later loaded onto a ferry for the ride over to Baja. Currently they are in the Pacific Northwest having some work done.


They are motorcyclists (Odyssey has been reconfigured to carry two motorcycles internally) and enjoy spending their leisure time hangin' on Mexican beaches, so right there they are fine people as far as I am concerned.

A word about their bus - Odyssey is a very rare Neoplan Spaceliner. Neoplan is a German manufacturer that once had an assembly plant in Colorado. Most of the Neoplan production in the USA was for more conventional buses but the Spaceliner is a high powered over-the-road bus meant to be a deluxe first-class bus for German service. It's not quite a double-decker so think more in terms of the Spaceliner as being more of a deck and 3/4's. Typical layouts of the Spaceliners had the driver and a stewardess in a compartment in the low front of the bus and the passengers were upstairs. In Sean's converted Spaceliner the front window glass offers an unobstructed view because the driver's compartment is sealed off and directly below the living space.

The Spaceliner is a bus that has intrigued me for years. When the time came to start planning our transition to full-time RV'ing we looked at a couple of them but just felt that, as beautiful as they are they are simply too exotic and too high maintenenace for our purposes. Beautiful buses however, and it's wonderful to see Sean and Louise step up to the plate and accept the challenge. They have done well reconditioning and maintaining Odyssey.

Enjoy Sean and Louise's blog. They certainly keep themselves busy and are living what would seem to be the ideal lifestyle for folks with a wandering soul.

This and that - thoughts on charities

This is the doormat outside our RV. You can tell that sick minds are at work here.

Jollymon writes "What is your charitable foundation?"

Send those cards and letters to the Old Pirates Retirement Home folks, care of ... And mark the comment line with "rum fund".

No, seriously ... please don't. I am reminded that the recently deceased Louis Wolfson, a major financial patron here in Jacksonville, went to the klink after he sold unregistered securities. Securities which he had dutifully reported to the Feds in the first place. And that his "charitable contributions" in the 60's lead to the resignation of Supreme Court Justice Abe Fortas.

As we all know, no good deed goes unpunished.

I have this vision of seeing my name in the local newspaper. And not in a good way.

She Who Must Be Obeyed and I actually have looked into a couple of charitable things that we could do to help out, but so far nothing has quite meshed.

Back about a decade ago Yours Truly was pretty active with the Red Cross as a Disaster Volunteer. Now don't get me wrong - I think that overall the Red Cross does a pretty fair job - but I just didn't feel like the Red Cross was dramatic enough for my tastes, let's put it that-a-way.

The Lovely Ms. Deborah has been active in local church food kitchens for the last few years. They feed the down and out, and the group that she has been working with has a small group home for folks who are recovering from various addictions.

Part of our reasoning behind getting the Bluebird Wanderlodge is that the big old steel bus is just that - a big old solid bus with a relatively huge generator and equally huge holding tanks for drinking water and non-drinking stuff, if'n you get my drift. We are trying to get geared up to go somewhere if needed.

I think that it's fair to say that the events in New Orleans of a few years ago were a wake up call for many of us. That natural disaster was more than a mere inconvenience or a mere couple of days without power. That was a life-threatening debacle of massive proportions that has become a national shame. And just as FEMA was woefully unprepared, those of us who would have liked to have volunteered were not really prepared either.

So that was part of the thought behind reconditioning the old Wanderlodge, rather than buying that fancy Winnebago that we looked at once upon a time. The one with the slideouts, and the fancy interior, and the beautiful exterior, and the ... oh never mind. That one. You get the picture.

Moving forward, one of my personal inspirations when it comes to the local charitable scene is Bill Wharton, a/k/a The Sauceboss. If you are a Jimmy Buffett fan then you have likely heard of Bill. He's Jimmy's inspiration for the Buffett's tune "I Will Play For Gumbo."



Bill's an excellent blues musician and part of his schtick is that he prepares a pot of gumbo for the crowd at his shows as he peddles hot sauce. Good food, hot sauce, and blues - that's a tough act to follow.

Bill also founded a Tallahassee-based charity called Planet Gumbo - http://planetgumbo.org/ - that feeds the less fortunate. But they don't just feed 'em the same old gruel - no Sirree! Planet Gumbo prepares good food and Bill performs for free at homeless shelters around the nation, bringing a little hope and joy.

There is just something about Bill's approach that appeals to me. Back in my Red Cross days we would regularly pick up a load of 150-300 Hardee's cheeseburgers and drag them out to sites where we had to feed folks. And nothing quite says "we're in a world of hurt" like a cold Hardee's burger.

Anywho, Deb and I have kicked around organizing a group to prepare food during disasters. What we have had in mind was possibly getting together with some of the local biker groups and preparing food for their events. That way we could develop a group of folks who were skilled at preparing food for a group, out in the open, with portable equipment, and the monies that would be raised would go into a fund to pay for food and travel expenses the next time that a major disaster (and disasters Down Here always mean hurricanes) struck.

That's the theory at any rate.

For the biker functions we had looked at getting some sort of portable bar-b-que equipment. Everyone loves a good bar-b-que. But that plan breaks down somewhat when you start to look at the logisitcs of moving all of that stuff into a disaster site. The volume of folks that you can serve is severely limited, largely because the best bar-b-ques take hours and hours to cook properly. And the really large bar-b-que trailers that are adequate to the task aren't exactly cheap, let me tell ya Brother.

Then you get into issues with not having refrigeration at a disaster location, and having your meats trucked in. Pretty soon you wind up looking at a pretty fair sized logistical operation when you factor in moving our bus for living space for volunteers, using a second truck to move a bar-b-que trailer, and then a third truck might be needed to move and/or store refrigerated meats.

Simplicity is one of the charms of Bill Wharton's gumbo. Gumbo is healthy, warm, and tasty. It's also relatively simple to make in quantity. And the ingredients are cheap.

Not to say that The Ingredients, which is the name of Bill's band, are cheap or anything. That's beside the point.

We used our current and rather modest cookin' equipment last year when Bill Wharton was in town and put on a gumbo cookin' contest. We have also used the same equipment for the last few years to grill burgers and so forth at the International Speedway in Daytona Beach during some of the motorcycle races. Those gigs raised money for the motorcycle club and those monies by and large were contributed to charities.

No matter how you slice it, cooking decent food for 60 to 100 folks can be a lot of work. And I have to commend Ms. Deborah for organizing those events and cookin' the chow.

For most of last year and into the foreseeable next several months the disaster relief cookin' project is going to be on the back burner as we concentrate on careers, writing, and some maintenance projects. But if there is anyone out there who wants to talk, seriously, about doing a disaster relief-oriented project to prepare tasty food then I'd be interersted in talkin'. And you know where you can find me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

--PirateJohn--

http://pyratejohn.blogspot.com/ (the *NEW* blog)

http://www.piratejohn.com/ (my website)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HumourList/ (the infamous joke list)

Enjoy!

Sunday's bonus joke

OK, so I've been a bit slack this week. Hopefully this will help make up for my slackness (is that a word?).

And if you are engaged in a weekend project right about now, you can surely relate.

Tools and their proper uses...

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your soda pop across the room, splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Yeou sheeeet...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. The most often tool used by all women.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16" socket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires. E-Z OUT BOLT AND

STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool, ten times harder than any known drill bit, that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. Women excel at using this tool.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes in walls when hanging pictures.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

DAMMMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMMMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need!

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--PirateJohn--
http://pyratejohn.blogspot.com/ (the *NEW* blog)
http://www.piratejohn.com/ (my website)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HumourList/ (the infamous joke list)

Enjoy!